he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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