nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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