69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
