just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
