is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
