dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just want to make out with him forever
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize