somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
