hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
