Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
