So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
