either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
