i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
