i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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