Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
