We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
