I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
