I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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