We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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