it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
