OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
