ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
