When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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