I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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