I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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