Come see our sink grown plant.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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