So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
