So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
