Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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