Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You made out with two different species that night
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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