Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
