if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Acid is not a monday night drug
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We had to coat check the pizza.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
