I just made out with a guy for $7.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
