Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
