Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
