why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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