Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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