just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
high people should be assigned attendants
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
