Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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