erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
