And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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