ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
