So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it glows. i had to have it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize