I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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