Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
