White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
