allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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