Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
