My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
