Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
