He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
