You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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