I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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