Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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