Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
