Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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