i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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