need another drink. this is the easiest way
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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