after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
