Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
