im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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