I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
