no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
