Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
