Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Someone came in the potted fern
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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