tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
