Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
