It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
