I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
