I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
