last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize