I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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