as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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