Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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