there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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