do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
