I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Are my feet made of real feet?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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