Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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