After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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