Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
