if i can run in heels then i can drive
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
